New start for a new life

March 2013, another page of story folded in my life. I have to admit, going to brunei isn't an easy task. It should be even said to be an action that require a lot of guts. I am not sure if I will regret it or not in the future, but it seems like I don't have the choice now. Working in my new company, everyone seems nice to me. I am quite happy that i could actually start working as a engineer instead of draftman. Well, all the works dedicated in Miri always start from draftman first. No offense to it, because draftman can revise a lot of engineering stuff. But always helping draw the engineering drawings doesn't seems really called DESIGNING. At least, i am sitting down on a desk to design for projects. Small, but it should be a good start. It's kinda funny when you think about it, after 4 years of suffer in Engineering school, when we need to design for a housing, we use programs. We use Orion and Prokon to design the building. Back then, i think it is require 1 month to design a house. Now, i think only takes about 1 week? or even less. But what more stunning is, why I study so hard when we only need to use program to design? Haha, that's one myth i need to understand in my life now. When i actually drove my way up to Brunei, I was crying like a baby. I couldn't understand why, maybe this is the day that I am going to step out of the house in Miri. A lot of the friends tells me, "No worries man, you going to come back every weekends, nothing will change." But I don't think they understand my point of view. Before yesterday, I was the only one who can take good care of my mom, although I didn't give my full to her, but I was there to cook and help her when she's sick or even feel like not doing so. Somehow, deep inside of me feels that is a blessing, to able to take care my mom. Ya, sometimes my mom nag a lot, making me pissed a lot. But I think when I stepped on the gas to go brunei, suddenly I felt, "no doubt, I still care about her a lot. I still love her, no matter how she treat me, she's my mom." I also understand, this will create an impact to her. I couldn't sleep well for 2 nights, imagine what might happen to my mom if something goes wrong. Somehow I wish i could be there for her, but I already made the decision to go Brunei work. And part of the decision was made due to anger, when I think "If you just want to yell at me every day, then i better just get out of this house." Oh dad, if you were around, I think our home will be not be as harsh as now. If only you were here. Maybe I won't even go brunei work, just some normal salary work, is enough for me to be happy for the rest of my life.

年终大扫除

超级去油剂 4-5粒橘子皮 75% 酒精 1）盖过皮，然后盖好。 2）两天过后再倒出来。 超好用的

前情人能做朋友吗？

如果人家知道我跟我的前女友的故事，可能总觉得很无缘无故的分开，但是也觉得没有什么好可惜的。因为她的异性缘很好，有时候跟其他的朋友好到很亲密，所以人家就觉得他不专一。有时候真的也让我觉得很气，但是到最后还是接受了她的习惯。分开过后，一直都有想要回去跟她在一起，但是就是一直不理睬我，也不接受我。当时候也有1年多了。等到麻木了，就找东西让自己忙，来忘记她。直到她回来找我，但是我已经有女朋友了。 所以，她知道了，也伤心一阵子，又过了一段时间，就跟另外的一个人在一起了。让我知道过后，心里总觉得酸酸的。但是也没管太多，认为时间就能够冲淡一切。

她很坚持要跟我做朋友，说她不想失去我这种朋友。过了几个月，前女友找我了，把我当着她的好朋友来谈她和她的男朋友的事情。可能我也是蛮了解她的，所以才来找我。聊了，又发现到他们很甜蜜。哇。。。还真地感觉到有点像一把刀插了进来。可能这个就是他们所说的，分开了，最好任何信息都不要有。因为不管怎样，就是会心酸。也可能是因为我的恋爱并没有那么甜蜜，让我不觉得他们有什么。那些人跟我说

“分开了，还是可以聊天啊，也不会心酸。”

，我只能说，我觉得是你恨了，才能够那样。当我不怪罪我的前女友（虽然头头会有），心里对他不恨，看到，听到她和男朋友那么好，自己又不怎么甜蜜。可能这就是他们说的

“如果你要报复我，就活得比我更甜蜜吧”

真的分开了，还能做朋友吗？还真地在我的脑海里打转，希望以后的我可以找到一个答案。

又回到了忙碌的生活（又学pizza)

开学已经有了3个礼拜，就已经感觉到很累了。最近忙着准备讲课，好才在最后的关头有赶到。虽然没有讲到很流利，但是总觉得已经给到最多了。或许真的很久都没有讲课了。但是也好，能够让我再次上到舞台。但是以后最好就是一个月前就要准备，不然真的会来不及。

台上一分钟，台下十年功

最近在佛堂又有羽毛球比赛要主持，的确会很累，但是总觉得满充实的。有时候还觉得忙得有意义真的满爽的。最近又要教青少年怎么做pizza。也请教了一位很尊敬的前辈。她的乐意帮忙，让我做得更开心。好比今天，我觉得今天应该不会在家里很久，应该不到2个钟吧。但是加油，因为今天要学会不同的pizza做法。然后教给我们热血的青少年们。加油！！

黑暗中的蜡烛

我的人生，算是像照片那样，失去方向。
以前，总觉得自己其实还不错，最后，看到的是自己的软弱。
以前，总觉得自己的想法都是没问题的，最后发觉到的是想法的幼稚，天真。
以前，总觉得世界是公平的，最后发现都是靠关系。能力吗？除非厉害到不行。

但是，还是觉得还是有希望的。
只是不知道几时会发扬光大

美里大水灾

连续几天都没有下雨了，这次可下的大了。记得昨晚大概10点开始，就一直连下，虽然下雨很好睡，但是就是不知道为什么昨晚很难睡。我记得滚床到12点多了，才睡着。那个雨还是那样的大。到了8点起来了，下去看，家外一团糟。听说那个雨下到半夜两点。还我跟妈妈洗倒头大。还真的想要讲妈妈为何当初要买这么大的屋子，我们又不要请kakak，每次有东西就是累得要死。听说美里是世界上第九个会被淹没的城市。我看，如果荷兰开始淹了，也是时候准备离开美里了咯。哈哈哈

好朋友啊 -难找啊

很多人说朋友多很好，其实我觉得朋友多也没什么。多人去你的facebook留言又怎么样，也只是路过罢了。有人天天看你的blog，日子也是那样。等到事情来了，有谁会来帮你？有问题的时候也会有谁来关心。家人是一定有，但是也会有好朋友帮忙的。

还真的开心身边也有两个好朋友。不管有什么，会来关心，会来问候。呵呵，可能以前觉得没有这样的朋友和家人的关爱才会想要有个女朋友吧。再看看能不能认识多点好朋友。日子就会更丰富点。加油。