Past few months, i still had some hope in my ex girlfriend. Wishing we can be together and start all over again. But yesterday, i just felt like, i want to discuss a bit about these things, so i phone her over. Yet, she told me straight she don't want to discuss anything about the past, nor the future. I think it should be anything that related to relationship. But the funny thing is, i think she's the one who wished to start all over. I thought i was the key, if i accept everything, we can be together. But in the end, it seems like, I were the one who caused everything to be like this (well, according to HER theory). She did nothing wrong and i was to be blamed. But she had forgiven me, forgetting the past, and accept the reasons that i were doing it (reasons? ok......). Fine, i take it. For the future, i can take it. Then i said, if i could have a second chance to replace everything, she said no~ (you forgive me, but not giving me another chance..... ok....) Then i said, do you wish that we could be together? (i make it straight so i can know it will waste my time or not). She said yes, but not now, but in the future. how long? 6 years later. She said, if we were meant to be together, we shall.
Ok, i accept it, but i ask her, by ignoring me for 2 weeks in a row, (meaning she can don't communicate with me for once in a 2 weeks) and do she think we will end up together? She said yes, if our FATE is there, we will be together. For her, SHE NO NEED DO ANYTHING AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER. it's like you no need to turn on the boiler, you will get hot water IF YOU HAD THE FATE. LOL, how can i even accept it? Once sze yee told me, about what her father said to his brother and i really really agreed a lot. her dad said "Even the god throw a bunch of gold or money to you, you won't get the money if you don't bend yourself and pick them up". Hell right, of course the fate is there, and you need to put some afford to get it. Can you even believe it? For her, after 6 years, if we had the fate. POOF!! we are couple again. Just like that, within a minute.
I didn't blame her on anything. I told her that, it's very bitter and why you won't understand when you missed someone and the person didn't want to talk to you (even because he/she is very busy). She said, if the reason are acceptable, it's ok. Yet, she still believe it, for 1 year. Then, i remember i was doing EFPC, i was busy on typing. She phone over, and i said, i'm busy. Find you again next time. At night, i reply the same thing again. Then i go prepare for quiz next day, then again, she phoned. I said, sorry, really not in the mood to chat, i am preparing for quiz. talk to you next time. Then, 3 days passed, i phoned her. I said, what you were finding me for? (like what she always said). She said, just to talk, and she felt very miserable for the past 3 days, without talking to me.
Wow, i thought she finally woke up. So i said, 3 days? then can you imagine how much pain i were in for 2 weeks without talking (including massage)? more over, once you left me a month! without any massage. How would i feel? Then she seems to understand (ya, she seems). Then we had some chit chats. I was so happy that time, it seems she finally woke up, i see HOPE. But guess what? well, you get the picture. After that, back to the original, she still ignore me time to time, until today.
Today, i woke up, i felt so miserable. I think this relationship is hopeless. Totally hopeless now. I think below hui ching, she's the girl that i cannot stand. I know she might not see what i type here, and i don't think she will ever know, cause i am so not going to hang up the phone again.
"Sorry Ruby, i just want to tell you, the Ruby i missed were gone. If this is the way you treat the one you love. Sorry girl, i don't even want to be your husband. I gave you 2nd and 3rd chances, and you don't even want to give me a 2nd chance. Sorry baby, you are not god, without you, i can still live, smile and have fun. Be your way, just like hui ching. One day you will know that what you lost and even you felt lonely, sorry not this time, I WON'T BE THERE FOR YOU."
Damn~ i feel so good right now. LOL
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